Monday, March 29, 2010

time for the truth...

Oh, I am so angry right now. So, I guess it is time for the truth!
Remember the morning Alysa and you trained together for the very first time? Well, I was there too, and you asked me a couple days later why I did not say Hello, or if I did not see you? Well, guess what I saw you and I saw Alysa too. And when she walked in the gym and I saw the time it struck me like a lightning. I knew what was going on that very moment. Seriously, I like her and she is a nice girl and super friendly and stuff, but I can't stand her near you. Walking from the ladies area to the every bodies area and seeing what I knew I was seeing made my breath stuck. I turned right away, pretending not to see you or her. Well I had said Hello to Alysa already when she walked in the gym. So I walked right up to my treadmill, and started running like a maniac. listening to the same song over and over again. Keeping me pounding and running. I was mad, really mad.
Now circumstances have changed and it gets even harder for me. I thought I would be fine dealing with the situation that she would have more contact to you, than me. But, I am trying to get all these people together and make them write letters and sign the petition. I try to contact people that I have never spoken to before. Like seriously, I am doing all the work. I understood Alysa had no time to help during reading week, but now? She could come to the gym and talk to people like I do. Or she could have clicked when I told her I was off the very Thursday April 8th, when you would have your appointment and she is going. She could have offered for me to come along. I would have done so, if I would have been her. I know I would, I would have thought that the more friendly faces would be a stronger support for you. No, nothing! And now I am receiving this e-mail saying she has visited you and she will be visiting you again tomorrow. Arrrrrrrrggggghhh! I know you are fine and you are looking forward to see her probably more than me, but I am still a friend worrying about you. I just had 10 minutes to talk to you on the phone, haven't seen you since January. I mean I just want to know for myself.
I probably shouldn't been thinking like I do, but it just drives insane. Maybe it drives me as insane as it drives you insane to be locked up.
Anyways, I can't wait for you to be back in town. I really miss you to be around!
Just 9 more days, okay!

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